- One day a man got on the bus and saw a nun. He started to have sexual Thoughts about her and tried to stop but she looked so good that he couldn't Stop. So once she got off the bus the man asked the bus driver if he knew Where she was going. The bus driver said to meet the nun at the church at 8:0op.m dressed like jesus. He went there dressed like jesus. This Surprised the nun and she asked him what she needed to do and he said have anal sex with him. Afterwards, the man said I have a confession to make and he told her he wasn't jesus but the man on the bus. The nun then said she had a confession also. She was the busdriver..________
- The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the
priest would hear his confession. "Of course, my son," said the priest.
"Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman
knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her
in my attic, and they never found her."
"That's a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to
confess," said the priest.
"It's worse, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for
rent of the attic with her sexual favors," continued the old man.
"Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk -you
would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you
hiding her; I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the
good and the evil, and judge you kindly," said the priest.
"Thanks, Father," said the old man. "That's a load off of my mind. Can I
ask another question?"
"Of course, my son," said the priest. The old man asked, "Do I need to
tell her that the war is over?"._____
- A man who recently had a sex-change operation was talking to his former
buddies at work about the operation. "Was it painful?" someone asked. "Well,"
she said. "There was one part that was extremely painful." "I bet I know what
part was so painful," someone else said. "I bet it was when they cut off your
balls," they said. "No," she said. "I was heavily sedated and didn't feel a
thing." "Then it must have been when they cut off your pecker," another
person offered. "No," she said. "I was sedated then too, and didn't feel
anything." "Then what part of the operation was so painful?" They wanted to
know. "Well," she said. "After they were done cutting, they stuck a straw in
my ear and sucked out half of my brains."
_________
One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted
to him and during her questions about his life she asked him
how he managed for sex."What's that?" he asked.
She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a
hole in the trunk of a tree."
Horrified, she said, "Tarzan, you have it all wrong. I'll
show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes,
laid down on the ground and spread her legs wide. "Here," she
said, "You must put it in here."
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her
an almighty kick, right in the crotch.
Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp,
"What the hell did you do that for?"
"Checking for bees!" said Tarzan.
__
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